20 Rules To Keep A Relationship Alive & Well

1. Don't push each other into saying I love you.
2. Become each others confidantes.
3. Surround each other with comforts, but do not become their servant.
4. Let them know you desire them.
5. Make them proud to be with you.
6. Retain your own identity and an independent life.
7. Maintain a sense of humor.
8. Affirm each others strengths and accept their weaknesses.
9. Be honest without being destructive.
10. Trust in each other, but do not become dependent.
11. Communicate your needs and expectations clearly, unless you are with a mind reader.
12. Get to know your mates needs, and try to provide them directly or indirectly.
13. Make pleasure a mainstay in the relationship.
14. Avoid guilt trips and head games.
15. Don't be trapped into generalized gender roles.
16. Never ask for more than you are willing to give.
17. Establish an atmosphere of trust and affection.
18. Expect the relationship to change and grow, give each other plenty of space.
19. Share the good times and let your mate know you will be there for the bad times as well
20. Never take each other for granted.

Give It The Finger

I'm talking about your steak, silly.  Steak firmness to be exact.  How firm it is, helps determine if it is rare, medium or well.  Press your forefinger into the steak, lightly.  Then you can compare firmness to your face.  A well done steak is as firm as your forehead.  A medium steak is as firm as your chin. A rare steak is as firm as the end of your nose.

FLIP A STEAK ONE TIME AND ONE TIME ONLY!!!

Psst!  The secret to a great tasting steak grilled at home is... butter.  As soon as the steak is removed from the grill, shave 1/2 tablespoon of butter onto the steak and let it melt.  Ooh it's so good!  Don't forget about the wine with your steak dinner.

Leaving the red wine in the bottle to "breathe" doesn't do a thing.  You'll want to decant into glasses.

Let old reds breath for one hour.  The younger reds need 2 to 3 hours.

What temperature should the wine be when served?

     quality reds;  59 degrees - 65 degrees F

     lesser reds, roses and complex whites;  50 degrees - 55 degrees F

     typical whites; 46 degrees - 50 degrees F

     sweet whites like champagne; 43 degrees -46 degrees F

WARNING!!!

a gesture, helping hand, sympathy, your other cheek, gifts, open arms, apologies, tears, forgiveness

... even when administered in the most tactful manner and conveyed in the most kindly spirit, as a rule, only intensifies hatred and fires the evil determination to carry out to the full, one's own selfish projects, when love is once really dead.

Sometimes there is absolutely nothing that can be done ... or undone.

A CANADIAN’S VIEW ON OUR DISRESPECT OF PRESIDENT OBAMA’S PRESIDENCY

America – He’s Your President for Goodness Sake!

By William Thomas

There was a time not so long ago when Americans, regardless of their political stripes, rallied round their president. Once elected, the man who won the White House was no longer viewed as a republican or democrat, but the President of the United States. The oath of office was taken, the wagons were circled around the country’s borders and it was America versus the rest of the world with the president of all the people at the helm.

Suddenly President Barack Obama, with the potential to become an exceptional president has become the glaring exception to that unwritten, patriotic rule.

Four days before President Obama’s inauguration, before he officially took charge of the American government, Rush Limbaugh boasted publicly that he hoped the president would fail. Of course, when the president fails the country flounders. Wishing harm upon your country in order to further your own narrow political views is selfish, sinister and a tad treasonous as well.

Subsequently, during his State of the Union address, which is pretty much a pep rally for America, an unknown congressional representative from South Carolina, later identified as Joe Wilson, stopped the show when he called the President of the United States a liar. The president showed great restraint in ignoring this unprecedented insult and carried on with his speech. Speaker Nancy Pelosi was so stunned by the slur, she forgot to jump to her feet while clapping wildly, 30 or 40 times after that.

Last spring, President Obama took his wife Michelle to see a play in New York City and republicans attacked him over the cost of security for the excursion. The president can’t take his wife out to dinner and a show without being scrutinized by the political opposition? As history has proven, a president in a theatre without adequate security is a tragically bad idea.

Remember: “Apart from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?”

At some point, the treatment of President Obama went from offensive to ugly and then to downright dangerous.

The health-care debate, which looked more like extreme fighting in a mud pit than a national dialogue, revealed a very vulgar side of America. President Obama’s face appeared on protest signs white-faced and blood-mouthed in a satanic clown image. In other tasteless portrayals, people who disagreed with his position distorted his face to look like Hitler complete with mustache and swastika.

Odd, that burning the flag makes Americans crazy, but depicting the president as a clown and a maniacal fascist is accepted as part of the new rude America.

Maligning the image of the leader of the free world is one thing, putting the president’s life in peril is quite another. More than once, men with guns were videotaped at the health-care rallies where the president spoke. Again, history shows that letting men with guns get within range of a president has not served America well in the past.

And still the “birthers” are out there claiming Barack Obama was not born in the United States, although public documentation proves otherwise. Hawaii is definitely part of the United States, but the Panama Canal Zone where his electoral opponent Senator John McCain was born? Nobody’s sure.

Last month, a 44-year-old woman in Buffalo was quite taken by President Obama when she met him in a chicken wing restaurant called Duff’s. Did she say something about a pleasure and an honour to meet the man or utter encouraging words for the difficult job he is doing? No. Quote: “You’re a hottie with a smokin’ little body.”

Lady, that was the President of the United States you were addressing, not one of the Jonas Brothers! He’s your president for goodness sakes, not the guy driving the Zamboni at “Monster Trucks On Ice.” Maybe next it’ll be, “Take Your President To A Topless Bar Day.”

In President Barack Obama, Americans have a charismatic leader with a good and honest heart. Unlike his predecessor, he’s a very intelligent leader. And unlike that president’s predecessor, he’s a highly moral man.

In President Obama, Americans have the real deal, the whole package and a leader that citizens of almost every country around the world look to with great envy. Given the opportunity, Canadians would trade our leader, hell, most of our leaders for Obama in a heartbeat.

What America has in Obama is a head of state with vitality and insight and youth. Think about it, Barack Obama is a young Nelson Mandela. Mandela was the face of change and charity for all of Africa but he was too old to make it happen. The great things Obama might do for America and the world could go on for decades after he’s out of office.

America, you know not what you have.

The man is being challenged unfairly, characterized with vulgarity and treated with the kind of deep disrespect to which no previous president was subjected. It’s like the day after electing the first black man to be president, thereby electrifying the world with hope and joy, Americans sobered up and decided the bad old days were better.

President Obama may fail but it will not be a Richard Nixon default fraught with larceny and lies. President Obama, given a fair chance, will surely succeed but his triumph will never come with a Bill Clinton caveat – “if only he’d got control of that zipper.”

Please. Give the man a fair, fighting chance. This incivility toward the leader who won over Americans and gave hope to billions of people around the world that their lives could be enhanced by his example, just naturally has to stop.

Believe me, when Americans drive by the White House and see a sign on the lawn that reads: “No shirt. No shoes. No service,” they’ll realize this new national rudeness has gone way, way too far.

Smell Your Way To Weight Loss

That's right.  Your nose knows.  The stronger the flavor of the food, the stronger its power to satisfy your hunger.  It's true and has been researched and proven.  There are ways to trick your body that will help you lose weight.  For instance...

• Sniff your food 5 times quickly before you begin to eat.  This will signal food messages to the brain and decrease your hunger.  This will help satisfy the appetite and should keep you from consuming a lot of excess calories.
• When you eat hot food.  The heat and steam from your food sends flavor molecules up the back of the throat and into the brain faster than cold foods.  Resulting in a quicker relief from your hunger allowing you to eat less.
  
• The odor from fresh cut strawberries travels directly to the part of the brain which is involved in emotional behavior.  From there, the odor molecules activate the brain's satiety center and trick it into believing that you've eaten more than you have.  You'll feel full faster and eat less.

(notice a pattern here, I've got one more for you.)

• Keep a bar of dark chocolate with you.  When the urge hits for a snack, sniff the chocolate bar, but don't eat it.  Just the smell can trick your body into thinking you've eaten it already.  Why dark chocolate?  In case you eat it.  It's better for you.  I'm kidding silly.  Because of the stronger smell, of course.

Here's a few more ideas that won't hurt or take much effort on your part but will prove helpful for losing weight.  

• Studies suggest that people who suppressed their mid-morning hunger pangs by eating 1 tablespoon of peanut butter everyday lost nearly twice as much weight as those people who didn't eat some peanut butter.  Daily peanut butter eaters actually tend to eat fewer calories a day on average.
• Have a mochaccino without the cost and without the calories.  Mix 1 packet of sugar free hot cocoa mix with 1 teaspoon of instant coffee.  Add your hot water according to the directions and stir.  A dollop of Cool Whip Lite (2 tablespoons) contains only 20 calories and 1 gram of fat.
• Did you know drinking 1/2 gallon of water over the course of the day will burn up to 100 calories. Most people will burn even more calories drinking cold water because the body has to work harder to bring the water up to body temperature.
• If your gonna sit around watching TV make it funny TV.  Laughing burns about 50 calories for every 10 to 15 minutes of doing so.
• Become aware of what a serving size really means:                                                 

                                         1 serving of bread = a cassette tape

            

                                                    2 Tbsp peanut butter = a ping pong ball

                                    1 1/2 ounces of cheese = 4 dice

                           1 cup cereal = a closed fist

                                                

                                                3 oz of cooked meat =  deck of cards

                                                                             3-4 oz grilled/baked fish = a checkbook                                                                           

                               1/2 cup fruit - a tennis ball

                                         1 teaspoon of butter = a thumb up

Costumes, Decorations and Parties, OH MY!

    It will be here before you know it.  The stores are already getting their shelves stocked with candy. Parties are being planned.  You know how you hate waiting until the last minute to try and  throw something together.  

     Here are a few ideas to help with a stress free Halloween.  Whether your stumped on what to wear or how to decorate,  I've got a few suggestions.  And just think, getting started early means you can throw that party you have been dying to throw year after spooky year.  

    Decorations

An ice cream scoop works great for cleaning out the pumpkin's pulp.  A drywall knife will provide better control than a kitchen knife when carving your pumpkin.

Combine 2 parts lemon juice to 1 part water in a spray bottle.  Use this to spritz your carved pumpkin inside and outside for mold prevention.

Before putting a candle in your hollowed out pumpkin, sprinkle nutmeg and cinnamon in it.  When the candle burns it will smell as if you were baking homemade pumpkin pie.

Have a pumpkin carving contest at your party.  Either carved ahead or during.

Use black light bulbs or even some green light bulbs in place of your regular ones to create a creepy Halloween atmosphere.  

Don't forget the spooky music!

Party Treats

Floating hands for the punch can be accomplished by filling rubber gloves with water, closing them tightly and then put them in the freezer the day before needed.  When they are frozen solid and you're ready to put them into the punch bowl, carefully peel off the gloves.

Floating eyeballs can be made by peeling red seedless grapes.

Bloody up popcorn by mixing red food coloring into melted butter and drizzle it on.  

Individual plastic cups filled with chocolate pudding and sprinkled with chocolate cookie or cake crumbs, looks like soil.  Now all that is left is to add a few gummy worms.

Costume Ideas

Castaway - Shred the bottoms of an old pair of khaki pants or shorts.  Wear them with a T-shirt that's ripped, torn, holey, stained, or whatever.  You get the picture don't you?  Men would not shave for a few days for this costume.  Women need to rat up hair and spray to hold.  And don't forget your little buddy.

Wilson

Junk Drawer - Wear a black sweat suit or a black leotard and tights.  Pin on the stuff found in a junk drawer like odd pieces of string, a used-up tape dispenser, coin wrappers, buttons, etc.

Wearing a black sweat suit or black attire of some kind and then adding the right stuff opens up ideas for all sorts of costumes.

Movie Theater Floor, Teachers Blackboard, Basement Floor, Gym Locker,etc... 

These guys have a few costume ideas...

Party Time Is Anytime

So you want to have a party, do you?
But no holidays are coming up soon.
What do you do?
Never fear!
Suggestions are here.

(Sorry!  Something about the word party makes me crazy, fun, weird.)

Have a "Slumber Party" for grown-ups only.  Serve pizza, bake cookies and stay up really late watching movies.  Your guests should arrive in PJ's, toting a sleeping bag of course.



How about a "Clothing Swap Party".     I've been wanting to do this one myself.  I've been to plenty of impromptu ones.  You know the ones where the only clothes gone through are the ones hanging in the closet of whom ever you are visiting.

Start your own Book Club.  You can find information on how to get started with your book club at this link. And I'm sure there are others out there.

Seems like there is always an award show of some kind via Hollywood.  A "Grammy Awards Party". Include a red carpet for your guests to walk on.  Print out categories ahead of time, and have everyone pick the winner.  You know what the trophy prize should look like.


Anyone can celebrate New Year's Eve, The Superbowl or St Patrick's Day.  Find an obscure holiday and go with it.  Planning the party will be lots of fun too.



This website  claims to be the official list of all holidays and observances for the United States.  Believe me they have done their homework.  You'll want to check it out because you are sure to find the theme to your next party there.


resource link for book club
resource link for list of holidays
resource for clothing swap party

Gift Ideas For Her On Valentine's Day

Aries
(March 21 - April 19)
Be romantic by giving her a charm bracelet with both of your names engraved in a heart. A balloon ride would definitely do the trick. And if she was born in April, don't forget her birthstone is diamond.

Taurus
(April 20 - May 20)
A thoughtful surprise that will lighten her load like a clean house will show how much you care. A romantic dinner will do wonders. Has she hinted about wanting something and didn't think you were listening? Now is the time to show her you were.

Gemini
(May 21 - June 20)
She loves to visit new places, hint, hint. An original poem from the heart is a good idea. Or a promise to clean the house for a week would rate highly with her. How about all 3!

Cancer
(June 21 - July 22)
She desires to be romanced. A card with a personal message from you. Dinner out at her favorite restaurant. Roses and pearls are never a mistake.

Leo
(July 23 - Aug 22)
She needs to know you put a lot of thought behind what you give her. Something simple like a bouquet of her favorite flowers. Balloons that say "I love you" could work. A simple card and CD of her favorite music, will show her you care.

Virgo
(Aug 23 - Sept 22)
She needs tangible proof of your never ending love. Go shopping together and buy promise rings for each other. A hike to the top of a mountain where you shout your love for her. Carving your names in a tree is romantic and tangible.

Libra
(Sept 23 - Oct 22)
Most importantly give her a romantic card with a personal message added expressing your feelings of love for her. A romantic candlelight dinner, perfect. A beautiful bouquet of flowers, perfect. Sexy lingerie, more than perfect.

Scorpio
(Oct 23 - Nov 21)
A quiet walk together to appreciate the beauty of nature will express your love. She craves your undivided attention. A romantic getaway for two that no one knows about and she's all yours.

Sagittarius
(Nov 22 - Dec 21)
She will appreciate you taking the time to cook a romantic dinner for her way more than an expensive gift. If it's warm, maybe a picnic instead.

Capricorn
(Dec 22 - Jan 19) Practical gifts that you both can enjoy are okay. But what she really likes is a sensual man. A nice massage given to her by her lover is her Valentine heaven. Especially if he recently took classes and knew exactly how to give the perfect massage, hint, hint!

Aquarius
(Jan 20 - Feb 18)
A sincere card. An intriguing book, A music CD she's never heard before. A fun electronic video game. A dream vacation to Hawaii.

Pisces
(Feb 19 - March 20)
Roses will make her melt. A written letter describing all your feelings of love and admiration for her is a must. Quality time together for this classic romantic will satisfy.

resource dailyhoroscope.com

5 Ways To Help Good Luck Come Your Way

• Impulsive decisions are usually motivated by fear, not by what you really want.  Don't rush into things.  Slow down.  Be patient.

• I once had a friend tell me they always expected the worst from any given situation.  That way they were never disappointed when they got it.  Huh?  Talk about self sabotage.  Don't get off on the wrong foot.  Expect what you want.

• Don't be vague.  Be clear about what you're looking for.  So you won't miss the signs that might lead you there.

• Smile!  Lead with a smile

• Don't hang out with a super worrier.  Their negative thinking can infect you too.

 

Don't Throw Out! There's Other Uses For Them

     I'm talking about pantyhose.  I think everyone knows about the trick to stop a run in pantyhose.  You remember the clear fingernail polish applied to the top and bottom of a run, mostly the top stops it dead in it tracks.  But this is a quick fix that might get you one more wear out of them.  Did you know an intense hair spray application will do the job as well.

     If I ever find myself in a situation that calls for wearing pantyhose, I think I'll try the spray on hose instead.  I find traditional pantyhose very uncomfortable.  If anybody has tried that spray, I would love to hear what you think about it.  How well does it work?  What color should I choose.  I've seen this product in the cosmetic departments of various stores for approximately $6.  If you have personal experience with spray on pantyhose, let me know what you think in a comment. 

Now, down to business.  There are numerous uses for those pantyhose that can't be worn anymore. 

1. In an emergency, pantyhose can be a replacement for a broken engine belt.  Keep a pair in your trunk.  They won't take up much room at all.
2. They offer the perfect way to store Vidalia onions bought in quantity because they're not available year round.  Cut the legs off the pantyhose and knot one end.  Drop an onion in and knot afterword, repeat.  The knots keep the onions separated, allowing air to circulate, keeping them good for longer.  Hang your onions in the pantry for easy access.
3. They will hold fresh coffee grounds without spilling.  After filling and knotting your pantyhose, place it anywhere you need deodorized, a dresser drawer, car ashtray or garbage can.  Just to name a few.
4. Cut strips to tie up plants.  The nylon is much gentler than string on plant stems.
5. Need a Halloween mask?  Bank robbers know nylons will distort facial features.  Your child will be unrecognizable, but he will still be able to see the treats being offered.
6. Use up the very last of the soap by filling up a section with soap scraps and use the whole thing as a soap mitt.
7. An old tennis racquet with strings removed is the beginning of a butterfly net.  See where I'm going with this?  Stretch the end of one hose leg over the racquet and attach it to the frame.  Maybe you need a minnow net?
8. They'll leave a great shine after using them to buff freshly polished shoes.
9. Pack one leg of pantyhose with ice and tie it to an injured limb as an ice pack.
10. Makes a great disposable strainer when needed for say, old paint needing lumps or debris removed.
11. Cover the jars of your child's bug collection with scraps of old pantyhose and rubber bands.  Allows air, but not the creepy crawlies, to pass through.

That should give you some ideas to get those creative juices flowing.  Don't forget to leave a comment telling me about that spray on pantyhose product if you have tried them?  Thanks!

14 Easy Ways To Improve Your Home's Value

Selling your home doesn't have to be a headache.  There are little things you can do to make your home attractive from the road.  That equals a quick sell and for the asking price.

1. Maintain the "for sale" sign.  If your sign is looking weathered, or post is leaning, maybe in need of some paint, this implies that your house has been on the market for a long time.  If your house has been on the market for a long time, buyers think there must be problems with it.
2. Put all yard accessories in the garage.  This includes bicycles, toys, rake, garbage can, etc...  Keep garage doors closed!
3. Remove any yard decorations that may seem like clutter to someone else.  Christmas lights still hanging from roof?  Garden gnomes are cute to some people and not-so-cute to others.  Lawn chairs scattered about should be stored behind the closed garage doors.  Walkway lights or maybe a garden fountain are acceptable.
4. If the dilapidated backyard fence can be seen from the street or driveway, take it down.  Better yet, if dilapidated seen from anywhere, take it down.
5. A $500,00 home should not have a $10 mailbox.  The mailbox should match the home.
6. Only leave the basketball hoop up if it looks new and has a net.
7. A big let down for potential buyers is a bad roof.  Just a few broken or missing shingles implies the entire roof has problems.  Get them replaced.
8.  Matching curtains in all front windows will make the house look balanced.
9. Your front stoop should be clear of potted plants, statues and other decorations because they make it appear small and cluttered.
10. Replace the main entryway's doorknob or knocker if it shows signs of age.
11. Remove dead or dying plants.  Trim overgrown trees and shrubs.
12. Sweep all the walkways.  Patch any cracks in walkways or sidewalks.  If tree roots are shattering a section of sidewalk, consider rerouting the sidewalk around the tree.
13. Adding color to the front of the house by planting flowers will make a white or dark colored house come alive.
14. Grass or weeds sprouting form cracks in pathways implies neglect.  Keep a well maintained look.  Edge flowerbeds and lawns for a sharp image.

This house looks good!

This one not so much!

Mind Trick To Summon Your Inner Bitch

     Everyone has heard that body language is a type of communication that others can sense.  Studies have proven certain physical behavior is also a type of communication to our brain.  For example, putting on a pair of sunglasses makes you subconsciously feel concealed, so you're more free to do and say whatever the hell you want!  Got it! 

     Literally, taking a few steps backward nudges the brain to go into problem-solving mode, allowing you to solve a problem more quickly.  Doesn't "stepping back to see the whole picture" seem to always be the advice given when a problem arises.  And doesn't it always seem to work.

     Drawing engages the area of the brain that might otherwise be used for daydreaming and zoning out.  Studies show doodling on a pad of paper can actually make you more likely to absorb info you hear by almost 30%.

     Check this one out!

     Leaning your upper body forward helps you to figure out the next step.  Why?  Our perception of physical space (moving forward) and time (thinking about the future) are hardwired together in our brains.  That means this trick can help you visualize the future more vividly.

     Make a tough decision by holding something hefty like a paperweight.  Having a few pounds in your hand can trick your brain into evaluating the situation in a more serious way.  Gives more "weight" to the subject.

     Love this next one!

     Research shows, you're less likely to second-guess a choice that you have already made by washing your hands with soap.  This trick also works for making you feel less guilty after doing wrong, like lying to a friend.  They say if you don't have soap and water on hand, an antibacterial wipe or hand sanitizer will work too.

     On a subconscious level, we associate actions with the feelings that tend to direct them.  Nodding your head yes tricks your brain into being more agreeable with whatever you are hearing.  Shaking your head no can make you feel more negative about a person or situation.  This trick can help prevent a fight.  Because feeling more open makes it a lot easier to find ways to compromise.

     Pressing up on the underside of your desk or a table with your fingertips causes a spike in creative thinking.  This motion flexes the arm muscles you use to bring things closer to your body, which your brain associates with openness and creativity.  Pressing down will cause the opposite.   You'll feel closed off and less accepting.

     And the number one way to trick your mind with a mind trick is...

     Sitting in an expansive, dominant pose (any position that takes up space) triggers a rise in testosterone levels, making you feel more powerful.  At the same time, it decreases the amount of the stress hormone cortisol in your system.  Gives you a calm, got-it-all-together edge.  By sitting with one arm on a chair's armrest, the other arm draped along the back of the chair, and one ankle casually crossed over the opposite knee, you improve your influence with the boss no matter what your rank in the company.


source: September, 2011, Cosmopolitan Magazine, page 191

On This Day In 1988

"A people free to choose will always choose peace."

Ronald Reagan

Try Out New Eyeshadow Colors Before You Buy

All you need is crayons and a clean sheet of paper. 

Draw as many sets of eyes as you can fit on the paper.  Just do a simple shape with a lid. 

Use crayons to duplicate the color of your own eyes after you have studied them in a mirror.  Mix a few colors to get your exact shade.  Fill in every eye on the page with your color.

Now you can test your "eye shadow" aka crayons.  Try them all and blend some colors together too.

When you find a complementary color, take your paper to the store and find a match.

"I've always been curious to see what a yellow eye shadow would look like on me.  I never could bring myself to spend money on it.  Now I don't have to."


Eye Makeup Tips

• Stay away from dark shadows if your eyes are small; makes them appear smaller.  Pastels work the best.
• Before applying mascara, gently press an eye lash curler at the lash base,count to ten.  This widen your eyes.
• Apply the first coat of mascara to the top side of your upper lashes.  Let dry.  Second coat goes on the underside as usual.  Long look accomplished.
• Eyes will sparkle if you apply a dot of gleaming highlighter just above the pupil, right over your shadow.
• Eyeliner drawn on in a thicker line will make eyes look smaller. 
• Narrow eyeliner makes eyes look bigger. 
• Create your own "customized collection" eyeshadow by combining shades you already have.  White combined with any color makes a lighter shade and can be used as a highlighter.  Another example would be blue plus brown equals smoky blue.  You can layer colors right on your eyelid or combine them in the palm of your hand, then apply.   

Related articles

• What Eye Shadow Color Will Enhance Your Natural Eye Color? (covellifashion.wordpress.com)
• Beauty Bargain Eye Shadows (dizzynicky.wordpress.com)

Go Ahead And Relax Mom Was Wrong

What was she wrong about?  There's nothing bad about being lazy and I've got three reasons to prove it.

1. Time to Think.  A laid-back approach lets you focus on the thngs you really want- so you can make sure they really happen.
2. Freedom to Dream.  When you take it easy, your mind can wander.  So when you have a great idea, you'll be recharged enough to do it.
3. Less Stress.  If you don't pressure yourself to be productive all the time, you feel more relaxed, which makes it easy to be happy and confident.

And here's three break ideas that will pay off.

1. Bike Ride. A short spin feels relaxing plus it burns calories.
2. Coffee Break.  A little caffeine clears your head.
3. Afternoon Siesta.  A snooze helps you charge up for more fun.

Related articles

• How to optimize your caffeine intake: there's an app for that (boingboing.net)
• Best Time For A Coffee Break? There's An App For That (medicalnewstoday.com)

The Four Ages Of Woman

According to Anna Johnson and her book "all you need to survive, Three Black Skirts", the best makeup for women of all ages is fresh makeup; anything that looks like a compliment rather than a sculptural imposition.  A lot of women get through their twenties with a stump of black eyeliner and a red lipstick only to find ten years later that these tools serve to make them look mean rather than pretty.

TEENS

• Young dewy skin can get away with just about anything you throw on it: glitter, super-bright lipstick, henna body tattoos, too much or none at all eyeliner.  Pale pastel and tropical colors also look amazing.

• Even though you don't want to look like a little girl anymore, the less makeup you wear now, the better.  Youth is for the young and the naturally rosy.

• If you have breakouts, don't plaster foundation and powder over them.  Keep the skin clean and let it breathe.  Don't fry your face in the sun to clear it up, either.  Whatever you do, don't squeeze!

• Everyone says , "you're young, you're beautiful, don't worry."  They're right

TWENTIES

• This is the age of trying to be taken seriously.  Job hunt, love hunt, identity hunt.  There's time for sober looks later.

• Enjoy red lipstick; later, fine feather lines will gather around the mouth, and lips will tend to shrink with age. 

• Liquid eyeliner and other dramatic eye makeup styles look great on eyes with no crow's feet.  Protect your face from the sun and keep the puffy look down with cool tea bags.

• Party on but be frugal with cigarettes, caffeine, junk food, alcohol and drugs.  Later the body pays.

THIRTIES

• Don't  go into neutral at the first sight of a line or a "crepey" eyelid!  Colors can lighten up and lipsticks can soften up, but not too radically.

• Look at your lipstick.  What is it doing for your mouth?  Rosy reds, fleshy pinks, and stains and sheers work better when lips start to get leaner.  Use a lip pencil as a sealant to disguise fraying edges and avoid matte, powdery lipsticks.

• Try using eye shadow instead of a hard, blunt eyeliner to accet the upper and lower lids.  The smudge factor requires skill, so apply delicately.

• Don't scrimp on health care, skin care or rest.  Try to protect the delicate skin around your eyes.

• The thirties are hard on hair.  May start to get thinner, grayer, or generally less lustrous.  Stock up on essential fatty acids found in linseed and fish oil and foods rich in vitamin E and B.

• If motherhood taxes your hair, skin, and body, look into your diet.  Do you need a supplement?  Are you getting enough sleep?  Perk up with a sensual bath scented with geranium, orange, or rose oil.  Don't expect to look like a babe when you're in the thick of the most responsible time of your life.

• Get frisky with a subtle brush of blusher.  Better still, get your circulation going with a few headstands.  Yoga is a great beautifier.

FORTIES AND BEYOND

• Hair matters more at forty than before.  Now is the time to frame your face and define your style.

• Enhance everything you lobe about your face.  If you have gray hair make it dramatic with beautifully shaped brows and a black velvet ribbon.  If you have deep cheek bones, highlight them; if you still love red lipstick, then just wear it!

• Enjoy womanly perfumes, powerful clothes, and dramatic style, or even complete naturalness.  If you're not you now, when will you be?

• Some women hit fifty and don't need to primp like teenagers anymore.  Many striking older vixens simply choose to cut their hair short and wear wild jewelry.  

Anna Johnson should be proud of this book.  It's smart and funny.  It's a down-to-earth survival guide that includes, health, dating, money, career moves, style, sex, nutrition, responsibility, home decor, home repair, body image and friendship.  

Oh yeah, the indispensability of owning three black skirts - one to seduce, one to succeed, one to slob out in.  What else is there?

http://paperrunway.wordpress.com/2011/09/17/meet-anna-johnson-author-of-savvy-chic/  This link will take you to a current guest post by Anna Johnson, where she talks about her most recent book (fourth), Savvy Chic.  She still has that charming wit that I loved so much in this book.  

 

Ways To Say No When You Don't Want To Say Yes

It takes time and practice before you can say no without feeling guilty.  It helps to be prepared.  Learning to spot the signs of on-coming unwanted requests will help. 

Warning Signs

They will say... "I've been meaning to ask..."
They will say..."I know you're really busy, but..."

earlier hints are...

1. drawn-out small talk
2. throat clearing
3. lack of eye contact

When you do turn down the request, keep your no short.  The more wiggle room you give, the more ammo the other person has to attempt to change your mind.  Resist the urge to apologize profusely.  That will only show you're uncomfortable with your decision.  Don't fall into the compromising trap.  That's as bad as saying yes.

The All-Purpose No

"I would really love to, but I can't."

"No, but thanks for thinking of me."

"I'm sorry, but I'm just not in a position to take that on."

"I know you'll understand.  I just can't do one more thing."

"I won't have time to do a good job with this.  Why don't you ask [someone's name] instead?"

"I'm flattered, but I can't."

"That's a great idea, but I'm going to have to pass."

The Special Occasion No

Someone you would rather not see wants to get together.

• "Sorry, I can't make it; I'm over-extended, but I'll get in touch with you when my schedule opens up."

Your man hints about a three-some with you and your friend.

• "Some girls might be into that, but I'm not one of them."

A friend wants you to volunteer for a cause you don't believe in.

• "I respect how involved you are, but I can't participate."

Your co-worker asks you to help them on a project.

• "If I take this on, I'll have to drop something else, which I can't do."

A stranger on an airplane asks if you'll give up your window seat.

• "I'm already settled in, but maybe someone else will change with you."

Don't dwell on it or allow yourself to feel guilty.  It will get easier.  Once you see how much more control you have over your life, saying no will become second nature.

Look Out ! Thanksgiving Dinner With The Relatives

Here comes the turkey!

They know where you live.  If you can't run away, you might as well be prepared.  Start way ahead.  In October would have been nice.  But hey, no worries, you've got plenty of time.  Do the thinking part ahead of time.  Too many well-meaning helpers taking over your kitchen can be avoided.  So that there's less time to get on each other's nerves, keep'em busy and productive.  Everyone gets a job!

• Energetic guests can be assigned to play with the children outside.
• Someone could start a fire in the fireplace or light some candles.
• The most obnoxious guest goes to the grocery store or tackles some daily errands.
• The table will need to be set.  Drinks poured.
• Children can draw place cards or make a centerpiece.
• There's got to be someone you can stand to help you finish the cooking.
• Who's carving the turkey?
• Who brought the wine?

Make breads and rolls weeks in advance and freeze them.  The same can be done with pie crusts, cakes and other desserts.  Choose side dishes that can be made ahead and refrigerated.  The idea is to save only a few cooking chores for the day of the meal.

Here's a great idea.  Make a list of things you hate to do and when someone asks what they can bring or do to help, you'll  be prepared to tell them.

Don't forget to make clean-up a group activity.  Energetic folks get to scrape the dishes.  Lazier ones can dry.  Let the exhausted people lounge in front of the TV.

Don't be a martyr.  You can't do it all.  Everyone really wants to feel included.  Relax.  This might just be the first Thanksgiving dinner with the family you actually enjoy.  And just think, if it just doesn't go as well as you had planned, you've got another opportunity right around the corner.

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