It takes time and practice before you can say no without feeling guilty. It helps to be prepared. Learning to spot the signs of on-coming unwanted requests will help.
Warning Signs
They will say... "I've been meaning to ask..."
They will say..."I know you're really busy, but..."
earlier hints are...
The All-Purpose No
The Special Occasion No
Someone you would rather not see wants to get together.
Warning Signs
They will say... "I've been meaning to ask..."
They will say..."I know you're really busy, but..."
earlier hints are...
- drawn-out small talk
- throat clearing
- lack of eye contact
The All-Purpose No
"I would really love to, but I can't."
"No, but thanks for thinking of me."
"I'm sorry, but I'm just not in a position to take that on."
"I know you'll understand. I just can't do one more thing."
"I won't have time to do a good job with this. Why don't you ask [someone's name] instead?"
"I'm flattered, but I can't."
"That's a great idea, but I'm going to have to pass."
The Special Occasion No
Someone you would rather not see wants to get together.
- "Sorry, I can't make it; I'm over-extended, but I'll get in touch with you when my schedule opens up."
- "Some girls might be into that, but I'm not one of them."
- "I respect how involved you are, but I can't participate."
- "If I take this on, I'll have to drop something else, which I can't do."
- "I'm already settled in, but maybe someone else will change with you."
Don't dwell on it or allow yourself to feel guilty. It will get easier. Once you see how much more control you have over your life, saying no will become second nature.
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