lil' bits of this-n-that: Ego First, Second And Last With A Leo

Here we go again. It's Leo's turn.

They are so full of themselves that others are taken in and they can build up quite a following. They think any job they have is a career. They fail to notice how bad their lovers are because they're so busy watching their own performance-and that's what it is, a performance. They wear too much make-up.

Not your most generous of signs. They drink far too much. They do love to tell everyone else what to think. They are bossy, dogmatic, opinionated and conceited. Trouble is, their opinions are always biased, subjective, unfair, based entirely on their own experiences, and short on facts. They have poor taste in clothes, as they think yesterday's fashions are still today's.

And the hair, is invariably messy, tangled and bushy and needs a good cut. They think they look like a lion. They don't pay attention to detail because they are lazy and don't want to be bothered. They are distinctly below-average at everything. They know this and suffer terrible self-esteem problems.

When they get old they get terribly depressed. They witter on about how much they could have done, how successful they once were. They smoke too much and drink too much coffee. They won't go anywhere quietly. They can't sit through a play without talking or a film without being an unpaid highly vocal critic. They get shushed a lot in movie theaters.

Leo is destined to be hurt in love. They bring it on themselves. If they could learn to keep their trap shut for five minutes they might just hang on to a lover. But they don't. They do love to change, to criticize, to tidy up, to argue with and finally, to drive away. It's in their nature. They fall in love with the most horribly unsuitable people; emotional cripples, too young, too old, too tall, too poor, already married (lots of this one), wrong gender, wrong planet.

When it comes to sex they will pounce on you when they're in the mood and get incredibly angry with you if you do the same. Best wait until you're asked. They like to think they are raunchy, daring, slightly dirty sorts of lovers. Truth is they are lame, boring and un-adventurous. Their idea of a good night of sex is you worshipping them, looking after their needs, servicing them, satisfying them, performing for them. Notice anything missing there? Good, because they won't have.

They think they are good at business but aren't with no staying power, no endurance, no money and no ideas. They like to run the show, but they lack any skills to do it. They make a lot of mistakes. All of which they try to cover up or blame someone else for. They don't understand computers and cause them to crash, which they deny.