Ah-Ha! They Have A Name, Camel Crickets

  
     These things scare the hell out of me.  I'm not the only one either.  There are 186 comments on the torture these scary creatures have dealt.  It was comforting to know I was not alone.  Others have endured terrifying moments much like mine.  It was liberating to share my story along with the others.  I'm also sharing my story below as well.  I'm number 186 on the list of comments and I thought you might want to hear what I have to say.  I want you to know you are not alone.  These things are real.  You are not crazy. 
     There are a few different ways people have found to get rid of them that I'm going to try.  I also learned that hair spray doesn't work.  Good to know.  If you have no idea what I am talking about, you soon will.  They'll find you sooner or later.
     Feel free to leave a comment about your experience with the camel crickets if you like.  It's therapeutic.  Here's the link to Jacob Grier's article about his experience with all the submitted comments.  At the very beginning is a link to the article in The Washington Post about these "sketchy" critters you will want to check out.
 
     And this is my story...

     I can't wait to show my Dad all these comments.  We have lived together for the past few years in two different locations.  I lived in the basement of the first home.   I stayed up late one night to read and noticed movement on the floor.  EEwwwwww!  omgomgomgOMG!!!  What are they? 
     There was an army of them.  I had never seen them before in my lifetime of 40 years.  You think I would, growing up in the middle of nowhere, in an old two-story haunted house with a basement.  There were all kinds of snakes, spiders and bugs.  I never saw anything like this out there.  My dad told me I was being silly and there is nothing to be afraid of.  I told him they jump at me.  They disappear.  They appear in odd places.  They are ugly and fast.  They stare at me.    He said I was imagining all that; "It's just a cricket, they won't hurt you". "It's bad luck to kill a cricket."  WHATEVER!  It's me or them.      
     There was one in my shower one day that even freaked my dad out because of its size.  This was the grand daddy of them all, I'm sure.  I swear it was...including legs and all...as big as my hand.  His body was bigger than my thumb.  Up until this point my dad always caught them by hand and threw them out of the house.  eerrr, KILL THEM!  This one he caught in a jar, wouldn't tell me what he did with it.  Don't care.  Don't want to know.
     We moved to the city of Springfield, MO. They followed us here.  They live mostly in the garage, and occasionally appear in the house but not in my Dad's room.  In my closet of course, the opposite end of the house from the garage.  They are still here.  I know they're after me.  They can smell my fear.  I'm trying to cope.  It does help that my Dad always comes to my rescue when they appear.  He knows what's going on by the screaming and cursing.  He comes to my aid wearing the usual grin. 

     "You know what Billie, I think they are after you." 

     Thanks Dad.